these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
