So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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