All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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