is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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