just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
