I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
