I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
