the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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