i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
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