In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
