PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
