I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
they're like a gay fantastic four
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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