The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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