my text book just quoted the cookie monster
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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