if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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