I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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