is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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