my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Just pee around me
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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