You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
zippers are such a cool invention
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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