i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
