bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
