It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Randomize
