i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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