Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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