I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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