the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
