apparently the secret to your success is patron
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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