My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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