if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
