Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
