But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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