the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
