very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
