whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
