I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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