I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
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You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize