Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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