Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
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You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
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Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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