So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize