oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
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