I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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