If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
