His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
its liver damage thursday
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