wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
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