cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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