Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
