as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Randomize
