I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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