He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
