Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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