If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Randomize
