Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
