How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
