areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
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i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
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I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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