I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
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