It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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