yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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