so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
