"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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