a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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