That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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