look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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