Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
