i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize