We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
There are leaves in my underwear?
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