Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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